Busy week and not so good news...

I have been pretty busy lately, and then when it comes to the night i am just too tired to write anything.

Anyway, I had a girlie night planned for wednesday so i decided to make the dessert, a cheesecake, which according to everyone, was great. and i found it lovely too, at the girlie night we made sushi, i never thought id love sushi, the idea of eating raw fish didnt appeal to me then, but now it does, it started with smoked salmon and little by little its getting to me....and i must say i love sushi.....next we are trying Miso soup, i never had it but am sure it will be great...I thoroughly enjoyed the night, and i think it was very relaxing...not forgetting when 4 girls meet its a lot of bitching about that goes, which is always amazing. We also had Hennah Application, my english friends loved it, they thought i was a pro, but am far from being a pro.  This was one cooking experience of the week.

On Monday, a friend of hubby's invited us to come and have dinner with them. Well one of the Guy is an amazing cook and he cooks really well.  everytime he cooks for us and i try helping him in the kitchen but he asks me to sit and have a drink.  But this time he invited me in his kitchen, to act as his little helper.  So we made thai red curry, and  fried lettuce which sounds weird yes, but is actually amazingly tasty. Yummy.  They Thai Red curry was amazing fantastic superb and i think words just cant describe it, So this was another great experience.

I must admit up until 2 years ago i hated cooking and i wouldnt enjoy these experiences but now i love cooking. and making the cheesecake, even if it was a very easy thing, was a good experience.  My mom always used to ask me to help her in the kitchen and learn but i hated it, now i try learning things with anyone who is willing to share with me.

I will make a Lasagna on sunday as I will be inviting hubby's friends (the 2 guys above) for dinner and I need to think of a dessert.  Maybe i may make a chocolate cake or an almond cake, I havent made any cake in 2.5 years i did make cakes before i was married...but thats ages ago.

Coming to the Not-so-good News. I had a phone call from my Doctors Surgery, my progesterone level is too low. Possibly causing all the trouble about conceiving and all.............so i have to go for yet more tests, which is starting to get to me now........and yet more people are having babies around me.  I am not even thinking about it anymore,..maybe this is a happiness i wont be having soon,

I am thinking of asking father Xmas for a baby and a cookery book by Anjum Anand for Xmas. I havent written my wish list yet. I think just a baby would be ok fr me...
joys of  life

Injustice

Today, Friday 13th, well am not superstitious at all, I believe if bad has to happen , it will happen no matter what, no matter when, nomatter where u r...Do you lot believe in this?

Anyway, today i hadnt heard at all from hubby at all and it was 430pm before i had a chance to call him,  he only works in the same office one block away, but we always have lunch together, on most days except fridays when he goes to his friday prayer. Today he had a training session so didnt go out.  So I went to town on my own, to the bank and then i went to  Marks n Spencer and got myself a dessert.

I was pretty much shocked when he told me that a girl had been sacked.  She is only 19 and fresh from school and this was her first office job.  And I was absolutely disgusted by it! how could they!....my hubbys manager who used to be my manager is an absolute bitch,  heartless bitch, she made my life hell for 2years...and now she is the main reasons for our decision to go back.........

I find it all so unjust, cause she just doesnt give you the neccessary training, they dont support you and when u make mistake they just bank on it to give u a washing in the boardroom, they gave her all the shit job and tell her that she is not profitable to the business...
This makes me think that she would have gotten rid of me ages ago, but she couldn't touch me, cause hubby's got quite a difficult client and they needed him toclear the shit which was done  before his time.  so shee knew that if she had to keep my husband she couldnt touch me...so this is why i got saved....
but am still disgusted by their way of doing thing....
I hate injustice............

More about the moving

November...Midway through it...I havent started packing yet! I dont know i dont feel like it. Not at all. 
I dont know when i will start packing.. I will probably packing like what 10days before the day!

thinking about moving is like leaving a part of me here...i wish i didnt have to....but i have to and i wish i didnt have to...

i cant continue writing this post...i am getting too emotional...blame the day in the month when i get too emotional...
gud nite..

More Weird Dreams

I had another weird dream last night...
I dreamt i was in King Cross St Pancras Station - I am not too sure why but it did feel like St Pancras, because of the glass dome etc I am sure i was there, but before that I had been to a few different stations where I had to change, I guess its the bloody london trains,some line or the other is always closed!  I saw my friend waving me goodbye before getting on a train.

Some days ago I also dreamt that my cousin's husband had got a £3000 cheque from UK Tax, he was there in 2007,  I was chatting to him today an told him abt it and that he should see if they owe him smthg, I was shocked at what he replied, he said he onlyhad £1000 refund. 

I dont know why but am having one dreeam aftr the other...

I have been having back pain since last night  and this morning and all day long at work.  Now am sitting here watching Singh is King a hindi move which i have watched before and think is pointless, but hubby is insisting on watching it again!  I have rubbed myself with Tiger Balm and have my heatpack.  I wish it would stop paining soon.

am going to sleep i hope i can sleep in peace with no dreams at all, i feel so tired whn i dream....

You are my life..

I knew that the coming weeks not to say months would be very hard on me.  Having resigned without a job on the line and not knowing what lies ahead isnt good.  Surely not healthy at all not on the relationship front.

Last night after the big fight, which rarely happens between us, and because it was freezing cold in the lounge. I had time to rethink.  Would this move and the stress of all of it cost me my marriage!!!

No I dont think so, I will not let it happen.  Its not only the stress of no job, i have been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby for a while now.  I must admit this really stresses the hell out of me.  Hubby says he's not stressed, but i know he does care, he wants kids too but he keeps his calm abt it telling me that it will happen when it has too....I dont know and as i said earlier every body else seems to be having babies in my entourage, my friend told me today that 4 girls at my last work are having babies soon.  I wish i didnt know abt it.  but am not the only one or am I.  the only thing am glad is that I am not in Mauritius.

Last night I felt like my marriage was crumbling.  But I wont let it happen.  I love this man, kids or no kids, job or no job, mauritius or UK.  All I want to be is where he is.  I think its all that matters. For now, money doesnt quite matter to me, it never mattered as much.  I have a few pennies saved which could last me about 6 months of living on the strict minimum.  I told him I will follow him on any side of the world he choose to,  anybody would do that if the man is worth it.! and I think he's worth it.  Even if hes a bit of a dic*head at times.  But hey no man is perfect, nor am I perfect ........

Grrrrrrrrrrrr Happy Coming week...Remember me in ur prayers and good wishes,....

Well on a different note, what gifts are u lot asking for Xmas??? any ideas i could copy?

Nuit Blanche on the Sofa...

453am..

Hubby and I had an argument last nite, which wasnt a big one.  Then as we got on bed it turned out that it was a big one. and It went on.  He was trying to sleepand i was trying to talk.  he turned round trying toshut me up. But of course i didnt. So he got angry and turned round to sleep. Me angry me was still talking n he got really really angry and told me to either shut up or get lost.  So i turned on my side of the bed and cried.  and Cried.  I had been crying all that time.  He said i should go to the spare room.  It doesnt have a duvet, which is in the top shelf of the wardrobe. Me being a midget i cant reachthere.   I asked him to take it out for me he obviously said no n told me to get lost.

so i just did that, I am here on the sofa, i tried to sleep but its bloody cold n I only have this tiny stolen from air mauritius cover, while my ever so egoistic hubby is snuggled in bed with a 13.5 tog duvet! and as a bonus am wearing this silly little nightie, as i put my only PJ to wash n didnt do the washing today,  At about 3 i decided to log in to fb and blog n start reading random posts. I am so annoyed.  While the bastard is snoring his way out of the night.  the worst is i can hear him through 2 closed doors, grrrrrrrrr

am still thinking whether i shoudl go back to the marital bed or get the bloody duvet out from hubby.  Am freezing my ass off.

Saturday Morning and weird dreams

Saturday morning 745 and am up already.  Y? Because last night i wen tto sleep about 845, Hubby isnt too well so he went to sleep and i followed, by the time i was on bed he was snoring deeply.

I had very weird dream and for some reason Wez was in my dream. I dont remeber anythg abt the dream but u were in the dream....then my cousin, i knw why i dreamt of her though, she was chating to me last thing before i went to sleep, i dreamt she was telling me she got £3000 bck from UK taxes which was due to her hubby ages ago and that she was going to buy a car with it.LOL.  Must be my tired mind.  Still perplexed at what Wez was doing in my dream, were u trying to tell me smtg?

-//-

Some people really takes u for granted, well there was a couple who we were friends with and would see each other very often.  But every so often, they would change their attitude, and take their distance from us and then few months down the line come back and talk to us as if nothing ever happened.  They did that 3 times to me and hubby and we have always been shocked at their attitude bt we do genuinly love them and their daughter(shell be 2 in dec) so every time they came back to us we made as if nothing happened. Although we never understood what went wrong in the first place
In August, we went to the leaving do of a friend, and they came there as well, and the wife did not say a word to me or hubby, she just chatted away to other people, and later changed place, reason bneing her baby could sit next to her. They left after the main course.  after the woman was terribly rude to her husband in front of 7 other people.

That day i was really angry at her attitude so was hubby so we decided we will just ignore them now.  So 2 months from then, they see us and asks us to come to their place as if nothing happend, well hubby says yes to be polite.  But we know that we will not go.  I have decided not to have anything to do with these people. If we see each other on the road or in supermarket, then we say hello and ask for health news.  Thats about it.  I dont want to be heartbroken by people anymore, by actually caring for them. I rather live for my own and hubby and my family back home.  and my little blogger friends...